In Fargo, a growing movement of death doulas is providing families with compassionate support during the final stages of life. Among them is Gail Christopher, who transitioned from a director of nursing to a death doula after witnessing the profound impact of comfort and care at the end of life. Her journey began long before she earned her certification from the Conscious Dying Institute in 2019, as she engaged deeply with residents in a Grand Forks nursing home.
Christopher recalls a pivotal moment with a dying priest who sought her counsel. His candid questions about death revealed a universal fear, even among those who counsel others in their final moments. “We can read all the books we want. Life is still life, and we are still human,” she said, reflecting on the conversation that underscored the sacredness of dying. This experience inspired her to help others navigate this challenging transition.
Death doulas like Christopher focus on the holistic well-being of the dying and their families, encompassing emotional, spiritual, and practical support. They assist with medical directives, end-of-life planning, and legacy projects, creating a serene environment for both patients and their loved ones. Unlike hospice staff, death doulas do not provide medical care but serve as knowledgeable advocates for comfort and dignity.
The role of death doulas has gained momentum over the past 15 years, largely influenced by the “Death Positive Movement” spearheaded by millennial mortician Caitlin Doughty. This initiative encourages open dialogue about death, aiming to normalize discussions around mortality. As Christopher notes, many people struggle to confront the reality of death, often feeling a disconnect between modern medical advancements and the natural cycle of life.
In Fargo, Christopher has faced challenges in establishing her services among more traditional end-of-life care providers. “I was told, ‘This is what our social workers do,’” she explained. Despite these hurdles, her commitment to advocating for patients and families remains strong. She emphasizes the importance of open communication about advance care directives, highlighting instances where family members override a patient’s wishes once they become incapacitated.
Another local death doula, Mantha Josophia, discovered her calling after the birth of her daughter. The experience made her reflect on the complex relationship between life and death. Inspired by Alua Arthur of Going with Grace, she pursued death doula training, furthering her mission to foster conversations about mortality.
Josophia, along with Christopher and fellow doulas Angie Schulz and Audrey Heilman, has formed Sacred Passage Death Doula Services. This collective aims to address the unique needs of families navigating grief and loss. They plan to host community events, including a Death Cafe on October 19, 2023, where participants can share their thoughts on death and grief in a supportive atmosphere.
Schulz, a funeral assistant and celebrant, emphasizes the enriching experiences gained from honoring lives during funerals. Her personal journey, particularly after the passing of her grandmother, solidified her desire to become a death doula. “I felt really grateful for that, like it was a gift,” she said, reflecting on the importance of being present during such pivotal moments.
Heilman, a licensed massage therapist, brings her expertise in providing comfort through non-invasive techniques. Her work with hospice patients highlights the emotional and physical support that can be offered during difficult times. “It’s such a scary, confusing time for not just the person dying, but their family as well,” she noted, reinforcing the need for compassionate care.
The Sacred Passage doulas recognize that grief extends beyond literal death, incorporating metaphorical losses that occur throughout life. Josophia asserts that the Death Cafe is a space for all types of grief, and participants are encouraged to engage in discussions at their own pace.
Those interested in learning more about Sacred Passage Death Doula Services can reach out via email at [email protected] or contact Gail Christopher at [email protected]. This initiative offers a vital resource for families seeking support and guidance as they navigate the complexities of end-of-life care.
